92 : The Artist’s Ways

92/365

The Artist’s Ways

Characters:

Aficionado
Artist

Setting:

Art Gallery

- – - – -

An Aficionado stands in front of a work of art and stares intently at it, taking it in.  Another person, Artist , walks up behind them.

Artist:                   What do you see there?

Aficionado:        I see things indescribable by words.

Artist:                   Wow.  Thank you.  Ronny Maverick.  This is my work.

Aficionado:        Really?  Wow.  Thank you for this’ creation; it’s wonderful.

Artist:                   Well, thank you.

Aficionado:        I must say I’m both impressed and indifferent.  The simplicy of form; the complexity of color; the balance of it all; the balance.  Wonderful.  Just wonderful.

Artist:                   Thank you, thank you.

Aficionado:        So, how long have you been at it; art.

Artist:                   For as long as I was able to manipulate my surroundings, you know?  I’d say my first piece ever was when I was a year and a half old and I jammed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.  I knew what I was doing.  It was beautiful.  You remember VCR’s?

Aficionado:        How could I not; I’m probably a whole generation older than you.

Artist:                   True, true.  So what brings you here?

Aficionado:        The art of course.  One artist in particular.  But once I passed this masterpiece –

Artist:                   Masterpiece, eh?

Aficionado:        Oh yes; this masterpiece.  Once I passed it, nothing else in this gallery mattered anymore.

Artist:                   I’m glad to hear you’re so enamored.  Are you interested in purchasing?

Aficionado:        Ronny, I’d write a check for double the asking price with both hands tied behind my back if I must.

Artist:                   I’m honored.

Aficionado:        It’s truly stunning.

Artist:                   So what’s the color of wall you’re thinking of putting this up on?

Aficionado:        Uh, I’m not for sure; don’t really know yet.

Artist:                   Do you at least know the room you want to hang it in?

Aficionado:        I haven’t really thought that far ahead.  All I know is that I want it.

Artist:                   Huh.  I’m sorry, the work’s no longer for sale.

Aficionado:        Excuse me?

Artist:                   I’m sorry, I cannot give you my baby if you haven’t yet got a home for it.

Aficionado:        But I do!  It’s a big home, too!

Artist:                   You know what I mean.  I’m sorry.  No sale.

Aficionado:        But-

Artist:                   Very nice to meet you.  Enjoy the rest of the reception.

Artist walks away.

Aficionado:        I’ll pay triple!

Artist exits.

Aficionado:        Fucking artists.